This post is a bit more personal than anything I have really shared before. And I really struggled before I hit “publish” but I wanted to share a little something about me rather than a tutorial or recipe. This is for everyone who doesn’t quite know where they are going or what they want to do when they “grow up”. It’s for anyone who feels stuck. Know that you have a purpose.
After I graduated from high school, I went to college and then graduate school and then got a pretty decent paying job as an environmental consultant. I’d been all about the environment for as long as I could remember. We would go on roadtrips when I was young to National Parks and my dad would always tell us that we needed to get out and see things before everything was gone. But the environmental consultant job that I got wasn’t a”save the rainforest, save the whales” type of job. It was way less glamorous than that. The days were hectic and in the span of 8 years, I switched companies 3 times. My daughter was born and I desperately wanted to quit work. I think the exact words in my journal at the time were “I wish I could stay home and go shopping and decorate the house.” But that was not to be.
Three years later my son was born and we were faced with astronomical daycare costs if I were to return to work after my maternity leave. The thought of being away from my kids all day just to bring home a net income of a few hundred bucks a month just wasn’t going to fly. So Christmas time 2009 I called my employer to let them know that I wouldn’t be coming back.
As the years went on, I found myself engulfed in motherhood without anything left of the person that I used to be. I used to be semi-creative. I used to enjoy writing and art and theater, but all felt like was a booger-wiping, diaper-changing, high chair cleaning, sweat pants wearing blob. Then I started creating again and started this blog. And some of the old me came back. The blog started as a hobby and now brings in a part time income for our family. It has helped pay for my sons preschool, my kids sports and family vacations. It’s a pretty nice gig but it definitely is not easy.
My son starts kindergarten this year and the plan was always to go back to a full time office job when that day comes. Because although we are living comfortably now, we want a bit more. Selfish? Maybe. We want to own a house; we want to put our kids through college (ok that’s not selfish); we want to live comfortably when it comes time to retire (doesn’t everyone?). All this would be completely do-able if I took a 9-5 Corporate America job in a few months.
But it’s not that easy. Because although the environment ranks high up on my list of passions, sitting in a cubicle all day does not. What do I WANT to do? I want to continue on with my creative corner of the Internet. I want to grow my blog and my Etsy business where I make printable party invitations and decor because that it what excites me. I find myself staying up late teaching myself HTML code and reading about SEO. My Google searches consist of Photoshop how-to video. Shows like Fixer Upper and Rehab Addict are on tv when I can wrestle the remote away from my kids. And I have come to realize that this is exactly what I am meant to be doing. No, not wresting the remote away. Creating is my passion and I believe it is my purpose in life. To make a living creating beautiful things.
I’m headed to SNAP Conference today to hang out and learn with other creative people like me. You can follow all the fun shenanigans on Instagram.
What is your passion in life? I hope you’ll continue to join me as I live out mine.